Get In The Ring

Boxing is the biggest sporting pastime in Thailand. Thai boxing (or Muay-Thai) is just like kick-boxing, only a lot more acrobatic and with this strange hypnotic music.

One night on Phi Phi, me and Josh went to see a match in town for free. It was pretty awesome, although a bit staged for the tourists, with loads of flying kicks and guys getting thrown out of the ring. The best part of the night though was in between the proper fights, when they would get two tourists up to fight each other. It was usually two massive guys who had a few beers in them and was generally hilarious to watch. A Thai guy beside me randomly started showing me his new laser pen and after telling him it was ‘very cool’ we headed home.

The next day as we were walking past the venue, the laser pen guy shouted over to me and it turned out he worked there. While talking he suggested that we come back and fight that night, to which me and Josh just burst out laughing. We then started a bit of banter, and told him that I was a champion fighter from Ireland, coming from a long line of famous bare-knuckle boxers. We joked some more and then walked on.

That night in town we ran into our French friends again and eventually ended up back at the same place to watch some more boxing. The staff recognised me pretty quickly and asked if I was ready for my fight. I laughed and told them no way, but they were pretty persistent and didn’t leave me alone all night.

Eventually I said I would fight, but only if they found a guy my size, which was unlikely looking around the room. This held them off for about an hour, but eventually some English bloke was found and before I knew it I was in the back room putting on my shorts and gloves. I guess you could say I got caught up in the situation slightly.

The announcer had an absolute field day and started whipping up the crowd, announcing an epic battle of “Englishman vs. Irishman”, “Ben McFeeters the Celtic dragon” and the people went wild.

I walked tall and stepped into the ring, trying to portray as much confidence as possible. I stood in my corner, thought to myself, “How did I get here?” and then said a prayer asking that I would not come to serious bodily harm.

Having watched up to five boxing movies, I thought I knew how to dance the dance pretty well. Protect yourself, bind to stop the punches, keep on your toes and that sort of thing. It all pretty much went out the window as soon as the bell rang for the first round. I knew I had to land the first punch and so just ran in and started throwing haymakers like a champion.

Two minutes later the bell rang for the end of the round and I was back in my corner spitting blood on the floor.

A random punter realised I had no idea what I was doing and stepped up to give me some tips. He then became my coach, washing the blood out of my mouth and telling me I still had a chance if I just kept my hands up.

The bell rang for the start of the second round and again everything I had just been told went out the window. Instinct took over and I just tried to stay alive.

I managed to land a few punches over the course of three rounds, but the conclusion was pretty obvious. The other boy was announced as the winner, but I like to think I took three rounds of beating like a man.

Walking through the town later that night I was a champion, people had seen the fight and my split lip was a trophy of battle.

Definitely a good story for the grandkids…

If you can't see the video, please click here to watch it on YouTube.